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Charlotte Crosby broke down in tears as she discussed going through her ectopic pregnancy alone while ex-boyfriend Gaz Beadle filmed MTV show Ex On The Beach.
Opening up about the devastating impact it had on her in 2016, Charlotte, 30, admitted she “suffered a lot” and still hasn’t forgiven Gaz years later.
Speaking on her podcast, Values and Vibrators, the former Geordie Shore star told how she had asked if Gary would be able to have his phone back while he filmed the show in a different country so they could be in contact. She said: “They were like, ‘Yeah we’ll let Gary have his phone back once a day.’
“But then in the back of my mind, I think every girl will know this, you don’t want to tell them to come home, but you want them to be there.
“But you want them to do that off their own back. You want them to be like, ‘I need to leave this show now I want to get on the first flight home and be by the side of the girl that I apparently care so much about.’ But that just never happened. And he carried on filming.
“We spoke every other day on the phone and he insisted, ‘It’s been great nothing has happened with any girls.’ Obviously that was a lie. Because when it came on telly shortly afterwards… [breaks down in tears] I don’t really need to say any more than that.”
She continued: “I suffered a lot. I lost my organs, I was in hospital, I nearly died and not that you get over it, but just as you start to feel everything is feeling a bit better and it’s something that happened but you’re moving on, and then, that TV show comes out. We just stopped speaking. The phone calls stopped and that was it really.”
Charlotte added: “I was speaking to a psychologist called Gareth and he was amazing. He’s so great. One of the main things were were talking about in the end was when Gary got out of that show and he finally got his phone back after we just stopped making contact with each other.
"It’s kind of like, I had to so much to say to him to put an end to all of this. I didn’t want anything to do with him. It was like, ‘How do I even do that?’ I lost organs in my body, and you weren’t even there. I had all these stages of anxiousness. I was anxious, I was scared, I was lonely. I had a lot to deal with.
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“I sent him a text I think I remember. It was a really long one. Basically saying you’re really shit. And then I had the whole hurdle of the whole TV show coming out on TV. It was never ending. The second I started to feel better, I was whacked in the face.”
While Charlotte admits now she would like to be friends with her ex-boyfriend, she still hasn’t forgiven him.
“Me and Gary never really spoke since. But I will say now, it sounds so strange to even say this, because it’s like crazy even re-talking about everything that he did and how he handled the whole situation. I don’t even know how I can even say this. I haven’t forgiven him, but it kind of is what it is and I don’t hold a grudge against him any more.
“Obviously now, five years later, we have spoke a few times. As stupid as it sounds, it would be nice to be friends probably again.
“If we ever were to do a reunion show, it’s not like I would start causing rows. I have actually healed from it now and I’ve got closure. And I’m so happy now. Looking back, as crazy as it sounds, everything happened for the right reasons.
"Because me and Gary weren’t meant to be together. As much as it looked like a fairytale on TV – it really wasn’t. Everything worked out the right way.”
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