Reality star Chloe Lewis, 27, has revealed how the thought of being a “mumma” “frightens the life out of her” as she gets ready to give birth to her first child.
Chloe, who is expecting her first child with boyfriend Danny Flasher, posted a stunning photo of herself on Instagram and opened up about her mixed feelings about having a baby on her “due week“.
Chloe explained in the caption: “Still can’t believe I’m going to be mumma.
“Absolutely frightens the life out of me but also makes me burst inside like my heart can’t handle it. I take it that’s normal not long baby!” [sic]
Former The Only Way Is Essex star later shared a photo of an ultrasound scan of her baby and said: “I can’t wait to see your face” and added: “Due week”.
The mum to be recently opened up to OK! magazine about her secret heartache as she miscarried a twin eight weeks into her pregnancy.
Opening up about the traumatic experience, Chloe explained how she started bleeding in the middle of the night and feared she had miscarried. She said: “The next day I booked a scan with a private doctor, and she said: ‘There’s baby number one and baby number two.’ I was shocked.
“But then she said she could only see one of the embryos, so it was either behind the other or I had lost it. I told her about the bleeding and she said that I probably had lost it.”
Chloe had to wait three weeks to find out if she had miscarried one of her babies, during which she admitted she “didn’t know how to feel”.
Inside Chloe Lewis’ stunning pregnancy photoshoot after opening up about grief for miscarried twin – EXCLUSIVE
She added: “The doctor told me not to get my hopes up, which I didn’t, I expected there to be one baby so I wasn’t totally heartbroken when I went back and was told I had lost one.
“The doctor did confirm the twins had been identical. That was so sad for me to hear. I kept thinking this one is going to come out and they would have looked exactly the same. This is common, though; it’s called vanishing twin syndrome.”
Chloe revealed she grieved the loss of one of her babies “for three months” and said: “I felt like I had gone into a hole, like I had lost a child. I felt like I had done something wrong because it was my body. Was I going to the gym too much? You start questioning yourself.”
She added: “I was supposed to be happy but I was sad because I’d lost one. I was happy some days and sad others. I couldn’t be totally happy. After three months, though, I said to myself: ‘Right, you’ve got to sort yourself out.’“
Chloe said her baby will always know they had a twin and added: “It won’t ever be a secret.”
One thing that is a secret at the moment though is the sex of her baby, as she is yet to find out if she’s having a boy or girl and decorated her baby’s nursery in gender-neutral grey and white tones.
The Essex beauty insisted she “doesn’t mind” if she has a boy or girl and added: “It’s strange, when you’re not pregnant you have a preference but when you are pregnant you just want it to be healthy.
"I’ve been told I’ll have boys by a spiritualist and she told me I’d have twins – how strange is that?” Not long now until she finds out…
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