Seen above serving seasoned Russian gold digger making her way to the will reading of her fourth dead husband (or rejected Mob Wives cat member), Katie Price has officially snatched the title of England’s Finest Rose away from Jodie Marsh, who has tamed herself all the way down. The edgiest thing Jodie does now is post pictures on Instagram of bowls of baby diarrhea she makes using the protein powder she hawks. Meanwhile, Katie Prices continues to make her country proud and prove time and time again that Britain is the global epicenter of sophistication.
Katie Price temporarily lost her driving privileges AGAIN last year when she drunkenly crashed her pink Range Rover into a bush after showing up at her ex’s birthday party because she was upset about a fight she had with her boyfriend at the time. Because Katie got a slap on the fake-tanned wrist, you’d think that she’d be on her best behavior, and you’d think right! Because Katie has once again made the Dowager Countess of Grantham pull up a desk and chair to learn how to truly behave like a refined aristocrat.
The Mirror says that Katie admitted in court yesterday that her frosted pink-slathered mouth unleashed a curse-filled tirade directed at Michelle Pentecost, the current girlfriend of her estranged third husband Kieran Hayler, at their children’s school last September.
Prosecutors said that the playground messiness between adults happened on September 6. Three days before that, Katie lost it after seeing paparazzi pictures of Kieran touching mouths with Michelle while around the two kids she shares with him. And in front of the school gates on September 6, Katie spit out a cunt-stream at Michelle. When another parent, Andrea Quigley, tried to step in, Katie let Andrea know that she’d bust a trick up the same way she busted up her pink Range Rover while driving drunk.
She repeatedly called Michelle a “fucking cunt” and, when challenged by another mum, told her: “I can interrupt anybody I want to, I can be as fucking rude as I want, who are you? I’ll find out your name, then I’ll have you and you’ll see.”
Michelle walked away, but Andrea stayed, and continued to get verbally attacked by Katie.
The Sun says that Michelle wasn’t in court yesterday, but she did write a statement which was read out loud and claims that Katie fat-shamed her to the kids. I’m sure that if Katie fat-shamed Michelle in front of the kids, Earth Angel Harvey would not stand for it and hit her with his signature line, “FUCK OFF!” Either that or, “Hello, you cunt.”
“I’m still in a relationship with Mr Hayler. It is clear Miss Price has been poisoning their children’s view of me – saying I’m fat, I have a big arse, that I hate mummy. I’m anxious I may still see her and I just want to get outside the school as soon as possible.”
Katie, who pleaded not guilty in a previous hearing about this mess, pleaded guilty to verbal harassment and had to pay £606 in fines and fees. She was also hit with a restraining order, keeping her away from Michelle and Andrea. Michelle claims that children were around when Katie verbally slapped her down raw, but outside of court, Katie denied that and said she did nothing wrong… even though she admitted in court to doing something wrong.
“There weren’t any children around. I did use those words but not as many times as they’ve said. They’ve said total lies about me. I did swear but the rest is just exaggerated nonsense. This incident was nine months ago in the playground.
I feel totally intimidated and isolated from anyone at the school and it’s not fair on the children in creating this atmosphere. I feel I have no option than to move the children from the school. I’m not (sorry) because I didn’t do anything that bad.”
I have two takeaways from this story:
- In some places, it’s illegal to call someone a “stupid cunt“?!? I would say that I’m going to CITIZEN’S ARREST the next person who does that to me, but it’d be kind of awkward to arrest my own family members. No, they don’t call me that. They call me stupid piece of trash instead.
- Since Trump is in the UK, he may hear about this story and recommend Katie for the position of Britain’s Secretary of Learning Stuff. And you know, I’d have to agree with Trump. I mean, in the education anthem known as Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love Of All,” she sings, “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.” What Katie did is a prime example of doing just that!
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