Katie Thurston Bans The Bachelorette Men from Masturbating

You won’t believe this, readers.

But it’s true:

Katie Thurston expressed both concern and excitement on Monday night — because she said she has feelings for more than one suitor!

This has never happened before in the history of The Bachelorette.

“There are more than one guy right now that I feel a strong connection with, maybe even falling for,” Katie told co-hosts Tayshia Adams and Kaitlyn Bristowe.

Among those aspiring husbands? Andrew S., Blake, Greg and Michael A.

Elsewhere in the opening discussion with Adams and Bristowe, Thurston explained that she wanted to torture the men vying for her heart by making a “friendly handshake with themselves” off-limits.

“I cannot wait to see the boys and give them little look, make it a little hard for them,” Katie told the cameras of the Seinfeld-style contest she devised.

Yes, people, she’s talking about masturbation.

Thurston then informed the guys that she wanted them to stop pleasuring themselves.

“Stay off the lotion, stop running the shower,” she ordered.

From there, Katie chose Justin for her first one-on-one date and they got a possible glimpse of their future when photographer Franco took their wedding photos.

Katie donned a white wedding dress and Justin put on a suit and they exchanged vows at an outdoor ceremony. Not weid at all!

Once Katie and Justin sat down for dinner, she opened up about how she finds weddings to be a challenge because her father passed away and can’t walk her down the aisle.

“It does bring up a lot of pain,” she told the investment sales consultant.

“My dad won’t be able to do that for me.

“Even when it comes down to a proposal, he’s not around to give his blessing.”

After Justin gave The Bachelorette props for her “strength,” Katie said she was falling for this contestant, they kissed, she gave him a rose and she added:

“I just want to say thank you for not only listening to me today, but in every conversation we have, I can tell that you care.

“I can tell that you’re going to be a great husband, and I want to continue to explore our relationship.”

Up next?

Blake, Andrew, Michael A., Greg, Aaron, Mike P., Brendan, James, Tre and Hunter went on a group date, which was hosted by RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars’ Monét X Change and Shea Couleé.

The queens poked fun at some of the fellas before telling the guys that they’d be competing in The Great Royal Debate, where they had to share why they deserved to be there with Katie in the end…

… and why the other guys did not.

Hunter was the target of most insults, as he was accused of flip-flopping when he said to some men that he didn’t yet love Katie — and then said when pressed on air claimed that he actually did.

“When I do find the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with, I will never take it for granted,” Hunter told Katie at one point. “And I think that woman’s you.”

At the afterpary, Tre recounted the story of overhearing Hunter telling Shea Couleé before the debate about how he didn’t feel like he loved Katie.

And Aaron told Katie of Hunter: “The things he says really don’t match up.”

When Katie asked Hunter for his side of this story, he sworee he only possessed genuine intentions.

“I’m not being calculated,” he said. “I don’t know what else I can say to defend myself.”

However, Katie needed more.

“I’m going to be honest though, I don’t feel good right now,” she told him… prior to leaving the room and actually throwing up.

Cut to Thurston’s one-on-one date with Connor, and The Bachelorette admitting the two were stuck in the friend zone.

“We are missing this physical connection,” she said in an on-camera interview. “When we kiss, I don’t feel that spark or that passion. My hope is that we can get beyond that.”

The two smooched again on the date and Katie told Kaitlyn that she “loved everything” about Connor… but then she knocked on his hotel door and…

“It’s hard for me because, I don’t know, I just feel like with us, I want it to feel like you are someone I could walk away with at the end of this,” Katie told Connor.

“And it’s like the most heartbreaking thing, because I remember how I felt when we first meant … You’ve done nothing wrong in this.”

Connor cried upon being dumped and questioned his kissing technique, while Blake proceeded to show up outside Katie’s balcony and held up a boombox in response to Thurston also being sad over her decision to send Connor home.

“That was the greatest surprise ever,” Katie said, prior to making out with Blake and saying in a confessional:

“With Blake and I, there’s just overflowing passion. There’s this undeniable chemistry. With Blake, this is what I’m looking for.”

Looks like all those Bachelorette spoilers may be accurate, huh?

After what Katie called a “hard” and “emotional” week, she headed into the rose ceremony with her mind set on the future.

“I’m at the point where time really isn’t going to make a difference tonight,” she told the suitors.

“I have strong relationships with men in this room and I owe it to them, I owe it to myself to just be very intentional with where my heart is and what I want to do with my time going forward.

“So that being said, the cocktail party is canceled. I know within my heart exactly what I want to do.”

Katie then took her position in front of the men, only to call out Hunter’s name.

Howeverr, instead of offering Hunter a rose, Katie asked him to go talk outside — and brought a rose with her.

“I’m just looking for clarity,” she told the questionable contestant.

Hunter assured her once again that he came to find love, yet he returned inside without a rose and rejoined the group.

Thurston ultimately gave roses to Blake, Andrew, Greg, Michael A., Mike P. and Brendan — sending Hunter packing, as well as Aaron, James and Tre.

“I don’t think she made the right decision,” Hunter told the cameras.

“I want her to want me, and she didn’t.

“She didn’t 100 percent want me here, so f— that.”

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