I’m a relationship coach, these are the green flags you might mistake for red ones

EVERY RELATIONSHIP and marriage needs to be worked at by both partners for it to be successful.

While you may think certain aspects of your relationship may suggest it's doomed to fail, relationship coach, Janette suggests that may not always be the case.

Janette posted a video to her TikTok account explaining how some green flags in the relationship could be mistaken for red flags, and it has garnered over two million views.

The relationship coach, believed to be from the US, said feeling 'bored' with your relationship is not always a red flag, particularly for those with an insecure/anxious attachment style.

Attachment styles categorise the way in which we emotionally respond to other people and our own needs.

There are four attachment styles according to the theory; secure attachment, anxious attachment, disorganised attachment, and fearful attachment.

Janette explains that for those with an anxious attachment, feeling bored may not be because the relationship isn't working, but because they are used to a chaotic and unpredictable environment.

She added: "When you are used to the ups and downs, you start to create comfort in chaos.

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"And that chaos gets mistaken for passion, so before you immediately put your walls up when you feel that the relationship is boring, ask yourself is it boring?

"Or is it just healthy?"

Janette posted another video explaining another green flag people can mistake for a red one.

She said that intimacy and vulnerability were important for people with fearful attachments, but warned they should see it as a green flag if someone does not want to open up straight away.

"Instead of feeling the need to rush the process and get extremely close, take a second to step back and prevent yourself from getting infatuated and attached too quickly."

Many users agreed with Janette and others were grateful for her advice, one wrote: "Boring means you found comfort and you know your partner well enough that being quiet together is perfectly fine."

Another user commented: "I was afraid my new relationship was boring because I wasn’t feeling “butterflies” until I realized that that sensation was anxiety."

"Oh my god, I needed that, I feel very attacked but very comforted in that." Wrote a third person.

For more relationship advice, an expert reveals the eight signs your marriage is on the rocks.

Plus, I found a suspicious text on my man's phone, then my friend found his profile on a dating app.

Meanwhile, my fiance cheated on me so I sold his family heirloom engagement ring.


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