CRAIG BROWN: We are living through the golden age of apologies, with more offence taken and more apologies offered than ever before
Another day, and yet more apologies. We are living through the golden age of apologies, with more offence taken and more apologies offered than ever before.
Just this week, a cricket commentator offered an ‘unconditional apology’ for saying that women cricketers can’t take big strides.
As so often happens with unconditional apologies, he then added a condition, saying that the comments were made innocently and were ‘never meant to be insulting’.
In Spain, the organisers of a race in Madrid apologised for offering sexist prizes to female runners, including kitchen appliances and low-fat food products.
Meanwhile, apology supremos the Metropolitan Police have apologised for detaining anti-monarchists on Coronation Day, tweeting: ‘We regret that those six people arrested were unable to join the wider group of protesters in Trafalgar Square and elsewhere on the procession route.’
Metropolitan Police have apologised for detaining anti-monarchists on Coronation Day, tweeting: ‘We regret that those six people arrested were unable to join the wider group of protesters in Trafalgar Square and elsewhere on the procession route’
To celebrate all this saying sorry, here is Part One of a Great Apology Quiz. I should add that if some of these questions cause offence, I greatly regret it and promise to take measures to avoid it in the future.
1. ‘I’m sorry to you if I made my insecurities your insecurities. I’m sorry to myself for not loving my imperfections the way I encourage others to. And I’m sorry to society for once being part of the problem.’ Who made this apology, for what?
a) Former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg for reneging on his promise to abolish student fees.
b) Love Island star Georgia Harrison for Photoshopping pictures of her body.
c) Downton Abbey writer Julian Fellowes for helping to prop up an antiquated class system.
d) Disc jockey Ken Bruce for saying nothing of consequence throughout his broadcasting career.
2. A month after being caught bullying several people on Twitter, U.S. model Chrissy Teigen posted a statement saying:
a) ‘I wish I had never been born.’
b) ‘Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past.’
c) ‘I am so not over the hurt I may inadvertently have caused.’
d) ‘I have let myself down, I have let my family down, I have let the whole world down.’
3. In March, Love Island star Ekin-Su Culculoglu apologised for mispronouncing ‘Limerick’ when telling fans that she was ‘super-excited’ to be visiting the city. How had she mispronounced it?
a) Lee Merick
b) Limmy Rick
c) Lime Rick
d) Rime Lick
4. Donald Trump has a reputation for never saying sorry. But this is not so — he has tweeted apologies on several occasions. Which one of these apologies is not his?
a) Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it!
b) Sorry, we cannot let our friends, or enemies, take advantage of us on Trade any more. We must put the American worker first!
c) Sorry folks, but Bernie Sanders is exhausted, just can’t go on any longer.
d) Sorry, I should never have encouraged the storming of the Capitol. Truly, my bad!
5. In January, Jeremy Clarkson said he was ‘sorry . . . all the way from the balls of my feet to the follicles on my head’. What had he done wrong?
a) He called Mexicans ‘sombrero-wearing slugabeds’.
b) He banned all Volvos from the car park of his farm shop, saying that their owners were ‘boring beyond words’.
c) He wrote about dreaming of the day when Meghan Markle ‘is made to parade naked through the streets of every town in Britain while the crowds chant “Shame!” and throw excrement at her’.
d) He called the Pope a ‘spaghetti-slurping baldy bloke in a white dress’.
6. ‘I don’t think I ever apologised for anything’, said who in 2021?
a) Nigel Farage
b) Gordon Ramsay
c) Jeffrey Archer
d) Lord Sugar
7. At the beginning of last month, Royal Mail bosses apologised for ‘upset caused by this misjudged April Fool’s joke’. What was it?
a) A manager in Gloucester sent a message to striking staff promising them a huge pay rise.
b) They promised that, from now on, 100 per cent of letters and parcels would be delivered on time.
c) A postman in Hull delivered a fragile parcel through an open window with a rugby kick.
d) They advertised a new high-speed service claiming to ‘deliver parcels before you send them’.
Answers: 1b; 2b; 3c; 4d; 5c; 6a; 7a
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