THIS week our Queen becomes the first British Monarch to celebrate a Platinum Jubilee after 70 years of service.
And like every other big occasion in our calendar, us Brits like to celebrate in one particular way – through our belly’s.
Because what is a party (and TWO bank holiday days) without showing our appreciation for LIz and her years of service by scoffing food fit for our Queen.
And with four days of celebrating to get through there’s a lot of eating to do if we want to show our appreciation for Liz and her years of service.
Food and drink brands have gone above and beyond to make sure our supermarket shelves are full to the brim with new snacks, meals and beverages.
So, I spent seven days trying out all the fabulous treats – and here I share my verdict.
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I wake up like a kid on Christmas Eve knowing chocolate for breakfast is finally deemed acceptable.
I pop on the kettle, make myself a cup of PG Tips limited edition Jubilee Tea.
The box, wallpapered with corgi dogs, brings a smile to my face that rarely occurs before 7am.
I’d usually have eggs on toast at this time, but today I plate up an ASDA limited edition Jubilee Scone topped with Cottage Delight Jubilee Clotted Cream and Jubilee Jam.
Lunch time arrives and I head excitedly back to the fridge and take out what can only be described as the poshest “sausage roll” I have ever feasted my eyes on.
M&S Honey Roast Ham Sausage Roll.
Adorned with HRH, I can’t help but feel like a duchess as I tuck in.
This is washed down with my first alcoholic beverage of the diet – a Queen’s Jubilee Rhubarb & Ginger gin.
As I add my mixer the gin changes from Union Jack blue to Her Majesty's royal purple.
Dinner time and it’s Coronation Chicken Pie from Farmison & Co – is there anything more British than that?
The individual pies are handmade and filled to the brim with coronation chicken. I go to bed incredibly satisfied.
Drink – Royal British Legion Jubilee 100 Champagne.
Breakfast today is a Jubilee coffee courtesy of Beanies new “Jubilee Cake” instant coffee.
It’s a delight, especially with a Morrisons Crown Shaped Vanilla biscuit.
Lunchtime and it’s a royal afternoon tea for one!
I’ve ordered a Jubilee tea hamper delivery from Bradfords Bakers and it’s another scone with clotted cream & jam for me along with chocolate covered strawberries, a platinum jubilee cake and a brew from a box with HRH’s picture on the front.
By dinner time I’m craving savoury food big time which comes in the form of a Pork Farms Special Jubilee Edition Pork Pies from ASDA.
Dessert is a Union Jack doughnut from Japan Centre accompanied by a glass of Silent Pool Jubilee Gin and Tonic.
Breakfast is Jubilee Raspberry Jam on toast from Cottage Delight.
But it wouldn’t be a Jubilee celebration brekkie without adding the Jubilee Clotted Cream too now would it?
Lunch is Jubilee Limited Edition Sage Cheese from Butlers Farmhouse Cheeses.
How is this Jubilee themed? I think as I enjoy a slice with the newly released “Right Royal Pickle” from Tracklements.
As I read the packaging I discover Butlers last made a Sage Lancashire Cheese over 40 years ago in 1981, when they gifted it to the Queen and received a letter in thanks from Buckingham Palace. Enough said.
It’s 3pm and it’s been a while since I’ve had a Jubilee sugar rush so I snack on Popcorn Shed Jubilee Strawberries & Cream popcorn during an afternoon Zoom meeting.
Dinner. What’s this? One actually has to cook ones own dinner?
To be honest I’m secretly glad for an opportunity to cook and when it comes in the form of a Gousto “The Queen Teas range” Jubilee Meal Box.
A homage to Queen Lizzie's so-said guilty pleasure, there's a Venison burger with cranberry relish recipe I enjoy cooking up for myself.
Dessert? Of course! Pierre Marcolini chocolates in a union jack box.
I shove a couple down for measure with a glass of Jubilee Ramsbury Vodka.
I kickstart the day with Jubilee Rowse Honey on, you guessed it, another scone.
It’s been four days and I’m starting to crave some sort of vegetable.
Turns out no one has launched a Jubilee themed salad or Queen’s Birthday Broccoli.
On the theme of no veg, I push on with lunch which today consists of ASDA’s Coronation Chicken Crowns.
Mini party pastries filled with coronation chicken. The novelty crown shapes are not lost on me yet but I start to think – after this, if I never have to eat coronation chicken again it will be too soon.
I finish with Cake Or Death limited edition Royal Mint brownie.
When dinner time arrives and I cook up Farmison’s Platinum Jubilee Pork Sausage, a special swirl design made with British pork.
I enjoy a nightcap of a limited ‘Jubilee edition’ English Garden Martini from Kocktail and everything seems better.
Cartwright and Butler have a new Platinum Jubilee Tea set so I brew myself an Earl Grey and dip in the triple choc biscuits.
Lunch is ALDI’s Platinum Corgis – pork sausage meat wrapped in bacon topped with cranberries and black peppercorn to resemble the face of a Corgi and they do bring a smile to my face.
I enjoy a non alcoholic Luscombe’s Limited Edition Strawberry Bubbly mid afternoon.
Then it’s dinner time and tonight it’s Morrison’s coronation chicken and pork slicing pie.
This is usually a dream dinner but the mention of coronation chicken makes my heart sink.
Then I remember. I’m doing this for the Queen and god damnnit, if she can sit through hours of stately dinners while making small talk with dull-as-they-come world leaders, then I can get through another round of coronation chicken. I wolf it down.
Dessert is Krispy Kreme Jubilee Dozen. A sugar feast. And I sample a wine from The Wine Society’s ‘Street Party Crowd-Pleasers’ case.
Instead of scrambled eggs, I chow down on a Jubilee tin of Walkers shortbread.
However, today I get to do something truly “British Bank Holiday” …. I get to BBQ.
And I’m BBQing on a limited edition Jubilee BBQ. I also get a fish supper fit for the queen from Channel Fisheries.
I also do what Brits do on bank holiday’s – I bake.
Using the limited edition Kenwood mixer – complete with Union Jack top no less, I feel like I’m the closest I’ll ever be to the Great British Bake Off.
I reward my efforts with a “Best Of British” Jubilee beer selection containing Corgi Gold and a Platinum IPA.
I can’t manage another shortbread biscuit so I skip breakfast.
I’m so sick of coronation chicken I decide against another slice of pie.
Instead I go for Morrison’s incredible Clarence the Corgi cake.
I can’t say it doesn’t bring a smile to my face and it’s the perfect way to end the week.
I’m lying horizontal on my sofa at 4pm feeling a mix of incredible satisfaction after a week of beautifully British food, and also fighting a serous craving for green veg…
Heavy is the belly that’s eaten the crown.
What I ate
Butlers Farmhouse Cheeses’ Sage Lancashire cheese wedges, Butlers’ online cheese store butlerscheeses.co.uk, £7 per wedge (300g).
Hellmans Coronation Mayo,
Limited Edition Jubilee Cookiecrisps by Sweet Tree by Browns, box of 6 for £10, sweettreebybrowns.co.uk/
Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Union Jack Mochi Donuts, £2.99, Mochi Bar at Japan Centre, Panton Street
Pork Farms Special Jubilee Edition Pork Pies, £2, ASDA
Pierre Marcolini Queen’s Jubilee chocolates, £25.00-£37.00, from the Marylebone Boutique, Selfridges, and Harrods
Foxes Pudding Glacier Sweets
Krispy Kreme Platinum Jubilee Dozen, 3 Jubilee Joy, 3 Celebration Crown, 3 Platinum Sprinkles, and 3 Original Glazed® Doughnuts, £15.95, Krispy Kreme
Gousto Jubilee Edition Recipe box, from £3.14 per portion, gousto.co.uk
Tracklements Right Royal Pickle, £5.80, available from fine food delis and farm shops nationwide and online at tracklements.co.uk
Clarence the Corgi Cake, £6, Morrisons
Jubilee Cupcake Platter, £5, Morrisons
Jubilee Biscuit Crown, £1, Morrisons
Coronation Chicken & Pork Slicing Pie, £8, Morrisons
Mini Coronation Chicken Crowns, £8, ASDA
Jubilee Tea With The Queen Hamper, £30, cartwrightandbutler.co.uk
Jubilee themed red Triton 2.0 Gas BBQ from Landmann – £449.99
M&S Honey Roast Ham Sausage Roll,
Coronation Chicken Pie, £21.95 for four, Farmison & Co farmison.com/
Jubilee Pork Sausage swirls, £6.95 for two, Farmison & Co farmison.com/
Jubilee Afternoon Tea Gift Set, £44.90, bradfordsbakers.com/
Perfectly Patriotic Preserves, £12.99, cottagedelight.co.uk/
Jubilee British Strawberry Jam, £3.99, cottagedelight.co.uk/
Jubilee Royal Mint Brownies, £19.50, Cake or Death cakeordeath.co.uk/
ALDI Platinium Corgi Pork Bites, £2.99, ALDI
Fox's Jubilee "Great British Puddings" Glacier Sweets, £1, Home Bargains, B&M,
What I drank (credits)
Beanies “Jubilee Cake” instant coffee, £2.75, Ocado
Jubilee Beer 3 Pack, £15.50, bestofbritishbeer.co.uk/
The ‘Street Party Crowd-Pleasers’ special edition Wine Case’ includes 12 bottles, £99, thewinesociety.com
The Queen’s 70th Jubilee celebratory Rhubarb & Ginger Colour Changing Gin, £23.99, www.redh.co.uk/
Luscombe’s Limited Edition Strawberry Bubbly, 12 x 27cl bottles, £21.30 from luscombe.co.uk
Sandford Orchards Launches Jubilee Cider, £2.30 at sandfordorchards.co.uk
Jubilee Strawberry & Mint Flavour Gin Liqueur, £15, Morrisons
Jubilee edition English Garden Martini, £35, kocktail.co.uk
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Ramsbury Single Estate Spirits’ limited-edition Platinum Celebration Vodka £38, ramsbury.com
Silent Pool Gin Platinum Celebration Edition, £45, WaitroseRoyal British Legion Jubilee 100 Champagne, Reveille (Brut), £45 10% of each bottle sale goes to the Royal British Legion, of which the Queen is the patron, eminentwines.com/rbl
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