I'm a great dad but my ex-wife won't let my have my son for Christmas Day

We divorced two years ago. We are both 34 and my son is now ten. I have him every weekend from Friday night. We play frisbee in the park and take my dog along the beach most Saturdays. On Sundays I take him to football and swimming.

My ex goes out drinking every weekend so she’s happy for me to have him when it suits her. She seems to have a different new man in her life every other month.

All I want is fair access to my son. I know I’m better off than some guys who don’t ever see their kids but he is my world.

I’ve asked if I can see my son on Christmas morning but she says no, though she’s had him all Christmas for the last three years and they’ve gone to stay with her parents.

She didn’t even let me see him on his birthday this year, yet insisted I pay for all of his party saying she had no money.

She was out on the next Saturday night though and found enough money for that.

DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound unfair when you’re doing a great job.

Suggest to your wife that you must be able to find a compromise together over Christmases so that it isn’t a bone of contention every year. Your son will pick up on the tension.

Alternating which home he wakes up in on Christmas morning is fair and then maybe he goes to the other later or on Boxing Day.

Both of you – and his grandparents – should put his needs first.

If you reach stalemate, suggest you find help to reach a compromise through National Family Mediation (nfm.org.uk, 0300 4000 636).

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