I resent richer friends who can afford to take their children on better holidays than me – I feel like a failure, but others say I’m just making myself miserable
- One British mother took to Mumsnet to express how they dread school holidays
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A mother has revealed that she is jealous of friends who can afford better family holidays than she can, which has left her feeling ‘like a failure’.
The anonymous poster took to the British parenting forum Mumsnet and explained that she dreads school holidays.
She explained that ‘everyone’ she knows has more money than her, and that her weekends in Wales make her feel ‘small and ashamed’ compared to their lavish ski trips and holidays in Dubai.
The mother said that she knows she should be happy for her friends, but instead she ‘feels like a failure that she can’t give her kids these experiences.’
However, many other users were baffled by the mother’s post, with one writing: ‘You’re only making yourself miserable, which your kids will pick up on… Kids aren’t bothered by big fancy holidays, it’s us adults that are!’
A British mother has revealed that she is jealous that her friends can take their children on better holidays than she can, which has left her feeling ‘like a failure’ (stock image)
The anonymous poster took to Mumsnet to ask whether she was being unreasonable by resenting her friends
Explaining her feelings, the mother wrote: ‘I dread school holidays. Mostly because everyone we know has way more money than us resulting in an endless stream of Instagram or Facebook posts of skiing, Dubai, Thailand, whatever.
‘I know I should feel happy for them, but I just feel like a failure that I can’t give my kids these experiences.
‘I do my best to avoid social media, but inevitably this topic crops up in conversation.’
She finished the post by writing: ‘I find myself feeling small and ashamed that we just go to Wales for a long weekend.
‘I know there are people me with far bigger issues than this, but I’m a bit worn down feeling skint and jealous.’
The post racked up more than 200 replies, with other parents sympathising and saying that they understand – but others questioned why it bothered her.
One user said: ‘Do not feel jealous at all. I bet your kids just have the best time going to Wales and they don’t even have the tiniest thought of doing anything else.
‘Other people do fun things and you do your thing. I’d be proud to take my kids away to do fun stuff so no more of this “ashamed” nonsense.’
Other users were sympathetic to the parent’s situation and drew upon their own experiences in the comments
Another said: ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.
‘There will be people that don’t even go to Wales for a long weekend. Try to make the most of what you can do. I’m sure your children will have fond memories of those times, even more so if mum/dad have a positive mindset on the trip.’
A third added: ‘We can’t even afford a long weekend in Wales. I don’t feel bad about it though, it is what it is. We do lots of nice things and my children are happy.’
But while some Mumsnet users comforted the parent, others questioned why she was bothered about the situation.
One user questioned her finances, writing: ‘Is there any reason why you can’t afford holidays? What is the obstacle to earning more?
‘I mean if you don’t work through choice or you can’t be bothered to go to college/university so you can afford these things, then that’s just the way it goes.
‘Also I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a holiday to Wales,’ they added.
But other users questioned why the parent was bothered about the situation, saying she was only ‘making herself miserable’
One mother said: ‘But why is this concerning you and taking up your energy? I have friends and colleagues who go on holidays a lot more than me. Of course it would be in our conversations but doesn’t really bother me.
‘I ask them questions about their trips, there are always interesting things to learn or funny stories to laugh about.
‘They’ve never said anything to make me feel bad/inferior so there’s no problem.’
‘My DC [dear child] has talked to me many times about wanting to travel more. My answer is always the same: this is what I can afford, or what I want to afford in favour of other things.
‘When you grow up, you can travel as much as you wish and are able to afford.’
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