DEAR DEIDRE: THE guy I was dating told me it was my fault he couldn’t get an erection, because I didn’t turn him on.
We’ve been friends for four years but only recently decided to take it to the next level.
He’s 28, I’m 26 and we work in the same bar.
He asked me out on a date just as the Covid restrictions were lifted.
We went to play mini-golf and had a few cocktails, and it seemed to go really well – we were both laughing a lot and he couldn’t keep his hands off me.
On our third date, he invited me to his for dinner. Again, the conversation and wine flowed.
It wasn’t long before we were undressing each other.
But he just couldn’t get an erection. When I asked him what was wrong, he said: “You clearly don’t turn me on. I guess I’m just not feeling it.”
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I left pretty swiftly after that and we haven’t spoken since.
Now I’m wondering if I’m unattractive with my clothes off?
DEIDRE SAYS: His inability to get aroused won’t have anything to do with you – it may have been because he was nervous, or due to the alcohol.
But rather than admitting this, he chose to blame you. A sign that he is, emotionally, very immature.
This is proven in the fact he hasn’t contacted you since.
Count this as a lucky escape. You deserve someone who will raise you up rather than put you down to avoid their own embarrassment.
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