DEAR DEIDRE: MY wedding is off after my wife-to-be found out I had sex with her older sister.
It was thrilling and exciting to be wanted by another woman.
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I am 29 and my fiancée is 28. We got engaged at Christmas.
She is lovely. She is kind, thoughtful, considerate — perfect wife material — so I knew I had to propose.
But after we got engaged I started to feel attracted towards her sister. She’s 31, single and very confident — a lot more my type.
By coincidence we bumped into each other on a night out. She was pretty hammered and so was I.
I bought her a drink and then we made our way to the dance floor. She was dancing so provocatively and looking straight at me — I knew what was coming.
I went out and signalled to her to follow, which she did without hesitation. We jumped in a cab and went to mine where there was no holding us back.
Sex with her was amazing, so passionate. But the next morning when I woke up to her in my bed, I was overwhelmed with guilt.
She scarpered pretty quickly and hardly said a word.
A couple of days later I sent my sister-in-law a message saying: ‘We must never do that again or Lauren would be devastated.”
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Her response chilled me to the core: “Too late.”
One of Lauren’s friends had been in the club that night, although neither of us had spotted her. When she saw us leave together, she told Lauren, who had asked her sister what happened.
I panicked and called her, begging for forgiveness. But she has called off our engagement and says there is no future for us — she would never be able to trust me again.
Should I accept it is over? Or ask again to prove to her I will never make the same stupid mistake again?
DEIDRE SAYS: Drinking can make anyone behave irresponsibly and throw their normal inhibitions to the wind.
But it is not surprising your fiancée has dumped you – the two people closest to her have betrayed her.
You would be better off putting your energies into learning from this mistake and becoming more aware of where your drinking limit lies.
You could ask her one more time for another chance but if she is unmoved, you must respect her wishes and turn your focus to moving on.
I’m sending you my support pack, Moving On, to help.
Good luck – everyone makes mistakes but it’s whether you learn from them, or not, that makes the difference.
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