My partner is treating my house as his own – in every way but helping with bills

We have been together for four years and are both 33. He is always at mine and invites his friends round without asking me.

His brother is a wannabe actor – without much work – and is always here. I lent my partner my spare key months ago and he hasn’t returned it. I’ve hinted I want it back but it’s no use.

I offered to put his name on the tenancy agreement so we could split the rent. But he is reluctant to give up his flat, as our relationship has been rocky at times.

I pay the rent, so why should he have a key? And how do I get my key back?

DEIDRE SAYS: Dropping hints isn’t going to work when the situation suits him – and his brother – so well.

Ask clearly for him to give you back the key and insist he stops having friends and family round without asking you first.

My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself explains how to be firm but calm.

But is this really the right relationship for you, with a guy who so totally ignores your feelings?

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