My wife wants to separate because I've got no sex drive

DEAR DEIDRE: MY sex drive has completely gone and my wife says we are better off separating so that she can date somebody who does want sex with her.

I’m trying my best to get this sorted but don’t know what I can do.

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I’m a man of 36 and my wife is 33. She’s always had a high sex drive while mine has been low.

But now I don’t want sex at all – and that’s unusual, isn’t it?

We’ve been arguing a lot lately and I do feel stressed.

I’ve seen a doctor who referred me to a consultant and he is trying to help.

My wife told me to move into a B&B nearby so that I can still see the kids.

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Now I understand from my daughter that “Mummy has a new boyfriend”.

I’m so upset. I just want her back.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Stress and depression can sap libido, so talk to your GP again, who may be able to prescribe something to help.

It’s rash for your wife to find somebody else because of a lack of sex, especially if you are trying to rectify things.

Anyone can have a dry period in their relationship but maybe there’s something else going on for her and you missed the signs?

Do keep talking to her, so that you can judge if it’s over for good – and you can still have contact with the children.

Find help from the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (, 01455 883300).

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