Our two grandchildren have been acting out ever since their mum died

DEAR DEIDRE: OUR two grandchildren have morphed from happy children to sullen, troubled teens.

Their mum, our only daughter, died a year ago, so we understand why they have changed so rapidly but desperately want to help.


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Our daughter was only 43 when she died of breast cancer and her sons haven’t been able to talk about her.

Our son-in-law is exhausted earning a living, keeping the home going and looking after them.

The boys are aged 13 and 15. They run circles around him, hardly come home and are completely out of control.

Social services haven’t been any help. We feel heartbroken but with current restrictions we are so limited in what we can do.

DEIDRE SAYS: The teenage years are difficult without the added tragedy of losing a parent. Although you can’t have your grandsons in your home yet, you can take them on walks or have a barbecue in the garden.

Talk to them about your daughter, don’t let her become a taboo subject. It would help them to talk to a bereavement counsellor and charity childbereavementuk.org helps children to rebuild their lives when someone close dies.

I’m sending my support pack on bereavement, which will explain the stages of grieving and also outlines support for you and your son-in-law. I do hope this helps.

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