It’s the final week, and the stench of self-sabotage is in the air – all aided by tonight’s ‘Sidebar of Shame’ challenge, which saw Anton get some bad news, and Chris doing the most “random” thing imaginable. But first…
Anna and Jordan were left shaken to find themselves in the bottom three couples AGAIN. Speaking after Francesca and ‘he who shall not be named’ got their marching orders, the Villa’s “second strongest couple” took themselves off for a little chinwag. In the confines of the lounge, Anna said: “This is the third time. How are we in the bottom three when we are the second strongest couple?”
How are they the second strongest couple? They’re the only other “official” couple in the Villa, after Jordan led Anna around the Villa for a cringefest last night, which culminated in him saying the words that no one past 17 years of age should utter… “will you be my girlfriend?”
Avid viewers will be aware that Tommy is the only other guy in there who’s popped the “WYBMG” question, because it’s 2019 and women are still meant to be the ones to hang around and wait for the significant male to dispense the decision making when it comes to commitment.
As ever, Jordan was typically chipper when it came to his current plight, saying in the Beach Hut: “Of course, being in the bottom three isn’t nice. It does upset me but I’m not going to let it get me down. I’ve been saved by the Islanders, which is unreal! The majority of people in here love us and that means a lot to me and I know it means a lot to Anna.” Bless. He’s so happy with his new girlfriend, Anna, isn’t he…
CHRIS AND HARLEY GO DATING
We were forced to watch Chris and Hayley make moo eyes at each other while mauling some dough. Chris, being a 28-year-old “business development manager”, brought such flanter as “What’s your most embarrassing moment?” (when you said she had a mahoosive forehead the other day, mate), and “What is your favourite condiment?”
That was about the size of it. The conversation, that is, not Harley’s forehead.
CHRIS AND THE ‘SIDEBAR OF SHAME’
Despite the same challenge happening this time last year, viewers were SHOCKED last night to see Belle throw a drink in Molly-Mae’s face. Said challenge calls for people to chuck different “drinks” in the face of the Islanders they reckon fit the blanks in a published headline.
It went thusly…
Tommy correctly guessed the following headline “AMBER’S MUM CAN SEE HER HAVING A ROMANTIC SPARK WITH OVIE.”
As the answer is revealed, Amber said “It’s just because she fancies you, I know that’s why!”
Anna incorrectly guessed the following headline assuming it to be about Molly-Mae and Tommy “LOVE ISLAND FANS ACCUSE INDIA OF ONLY LIKING OVIE TO WIN THE £50K.” Molly-Mae was not happy.
Curtis then correctly guessed the following headline “LOVE ISLAND FANS ACCUSE ‘BORED’ MOLLY-MAE OF FAKING HER LOVE FOR TOMMY.” Again, Molly-Mae was understandably not happy. Speaking in the Beach Hut, she said “I’m definitely not bored.”
Then, just when you thought things couldn’t become any bleaker for Molly-Mae, Belle correctly lashed a drink in her face when faced with “*BLANK* IS ‘PRETENDING TO BE HAPPY FOR MAURA AND CURTIS, CLAIM LOVE ISLAND FANS.” As Belle approached her, she said “surely not”, but – alas – it is what it is.
“LOVE ISLAND’S BELLE ISN’T ANTON’S TYPE AND IS ‘NOT GENUINE’ SAYS HIS BEST FRIEND'”… Molly launched her load at Amber and Greg, but then skitter hit the fan after it emerged who it was actually about. Later that evening, Anton became tonight’s second self-saboteur as he chose to believe a possibly fictitious headline from a random “best friend” over the person he’s been sharing every waking moment with for over a month.
Next, Ovie correctly guessed that “CURTIS IS THE BIGGEST GAME PLAYER”… That isn’t truuuue?! OK, yeah, that is true…
Then came the humdinger… Chris incorrectly guessed the following headline “LOVE ISLAND FANS CONVINCED MAURA AND CHRIS ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER.” So, yep, Chris – who was hosting the quiz alongside Harley (who he’d just been on a date with) threw a drink over himself. And then India. So he was partially right, but Harley was not happy. Mostly because Chris (and everyone else, by the looks of things) does like India. They both said “dolphin” at the same time that afternoon on the beanbags. You can’t ignore the signs, man.
• Chris saying “Any minute now, we could be gone.” That’s the whole point of the show though, no?
• Tonight’s Ovie time was was gold. And he made ‘POOAAACHED EGGS ON TOYAHST’ in the process. And, see that hat? He just took that hat out of the freezer. He’s a man of many, many facets and should never refer to himself as “discardable.”
• “HE IS MAAAHNLY!!”
• Can you believe they didn’t show footage of the herd of angry goats invading the Villa an eating the walls?
Another self-saboteur is in our midst!! This time, it’s mister super-positive Jordan. Yep, just when you start letting yourself think someone’s proper sound.
Love Island continues on Virgin Media Two and ITV2.
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