RUSSELL Brand was once one of the biggest characters in showbiz, with women queuing up to sleep with him and a rock ’n’ roll lifestyle that put the Rolling Stones to shame.
But since reinventing himself as a woketopian, he has lost all his swagger and common sense, instead spending his time engaging in petty countryside feuds.
In a pathetic attempt to uphold his man of the people, anarchist persona, Russell has waged war on the class system by, wait for it, refusing to put his dog on a lead.
He said: “I know that we are different from one another but one thing I feel with all of us is that in these moments I have of antagonism, I get wound up and maybe go to a stately home and I have got my dog.
“‘You don’t put him on a lead,’ people say. ‘Could you not put him on a lead?’
“I say, ‘Yeah, I could put him on a lead’. They go, ‘Would you put him on a lead?’ I say, ‘Ahh, no’.
“National Trust? Whose nation? What trust? Don’t have a conversation with me about dog leads mate. I love dogs.
“I say, ‘Who does it belong to?’ If you look at these gorgeous palaces, then look at where they come from. How did you build this beautiful stately home and what was the cost in blood?” Stick it to the man, Russell.
This contrary stance comes after his dog last month mauled a wallaby to death in Henley-on-Thames, Oxfordshire, near the home he shares with second wife Laura Gallacher and their two daughters.
Now the stand-up comic says he feels like gangsters Ronnie and Reggie Kray’s mum Violet, because the dog keeps killing animals.
In his new show, Our Little Lives: Shakespeare & Me, Russell said: “That dog, he loves me and I love him.
“Yes, he has made mistakes. Sure he killed that sheep but he has changed.
“I am like Violet Kray, Ronnie and Reggie’s mum, and I will go to the grave apologising like, ‘Oh, they are good boys. He did not mean that. He will kill you if you have got wool growing out of you. It is not normal, a jumper growing out of your skin’.
“I have dug a grave. Not for a person, a few graves for chickens because, Bear, my dog, he keeps killing the chickens.”
It’s a far cry from his Noughties hellraising days when I envied him so much. And it is sad that I now concede I couldn’t think of anyone less I’d like to be.
Since becoming a woke-type and political activist — which included a failed attempt at a career in the murky world of politics — all of the edge he once had has now been lost.
There’s not much to laugh about from this one-time comedian nowadays.
READ MORE FROM SIMON BOYLE'S BIZARRE COLUMN
Busy Weeknd's new album
THE WEEKND has almost completed his next album, a year on from No1 record After Hours.
Along with a CD emoji, the Blinding Lights singer tweeted: “We getting there,” then added: “Really proud of this one.
“Massaging it now, being sweet to it. Giving it some TLC. Just so there’s no confusion, it’s a full body of work.”
And ahead of his world tour next year, which includes UK dates, he said: “The tour is gonna be madness.”
The Weeknd also looks set to appear on Drake's new album Certified Lover Boy, following a feud.
A track reportedly from the record, and apparently leaked by a source at Republic Records, has his vocals. To top off the year, he has also been nominated for three Emmy Awards.
220 is a y-front runner
HE’S already had a Brit nomination and a No1 hit with Wellerman.
But then DJ and producer 220 Kid has a great musical history – because he grew up with the Bee Gees.
The rising star knew band member Robin Gibb, as his dad Ken managed him for 30 years before the music icon’s death in 2012.
In an exclusive chat, 220 Kid, who has just released single Unconditional, said: “I was in the studio when I was eight with the Bee Gees when they were writing an album, like, ‘Wow, what is this?’
“My dad always talked to me about how Robin wrote the songs and got inspiration. It would be like, ‘He drove past this cafe and took the name to help develop the song’.
“It was about appreciating how you can craft a song from something small, and that was a good lesson to learn about that.”
Robin even inspired his stage name. The DJ, whose real name is William Graydon, said: “When he passed away, he had supported the Rebecca House children’s hospice on the Isle of Man and Coming Home, a soldiers’ charity.
"But also one of my school friends passed away so I did a run for the Royal Marsden Hospital.
“I ran 220 miles because it was 220million albums that the Bee Gees sold. I did it in pink Y-fronts and we raised good money for charity.”
Joel loves island life
JOEL CORRY has called for ITV2 to let him be a special guest in the Love Island villa – and maybe even stay over to chat up the ladies.
The Head & Heart DJ, who appeared on Geordie Shore as a youngster, said: “They need to get me in there. They need the JC in there to drop a little set, I think.
“But I can stay over if they want me to as well, you know what I’m saying?
“Listen, I am down for it man. I will be in Ibiza as well.” He will only be 130km away from the Majorcan villa used in the hit series when he’s on the White Isle.
But it might be a struggle to get him out of the nightclubs after spending such a long time away.
Speaking on Apple Music 1, he said: “I’m off to Ibiza this weekend. You know when you’re a kid and counting down to Christmas, like, ‘one month to go, three weeks to go, two weeks to go . . . ’ that’s what I’ve been like.
“Going to Ibiza is going to be like Christmas Day for me.”
Lorde suffers culture shock
LORDE looked like a ray of sunshine in this bright outfit – after admitting it feels “ridiculous” to be getting dressed up like a pop star again.
The Royals singer wore it for an appearance on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert in New York, having revealed she was finding it strange adapting to life in the public eye after two-and-a-half years at home in New Zealand.
In an email newsletter to her fans, she wrote: “It’s always a pretty wild adjustment back into American life for me, particularly due to the zones I move in. I had true culture shock.
“I felt like a freak, you know? Like a fancy little goldfish in her own special bowl.
"I know you know this, but pop star world is ridiculous and extravagant and excessive and very looks-focused.
"I’m reminded of the deep oddness when I’ve been away from it for a while.”
At least she can see it for what it is. Plenty of other stars can’t.
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