18 months after losing her beloved husband Tom following his devastating brain tumour battle, Kelsey Parker has reflected on the moment The Wanted singer, 32, passed away.
"It was magical – he didn’t die in pain," Kelsey, now 33, explains, prior to the release of her emotional memoir With And Without You. "It was like his soul was ready to leave him and go somewhere else. It was so special to watch.
"It wasn’t like he wasn’t struggling or anything like that. He looked amazing and he just passed over."
Kelsey, who has two children, Aurelia, four, and two-year-old Bodhi with Tom, tries to put a positive spin on everything – even her husband’s death.
While losing him at such a young age to glioblastoma was, sadly, highly likely following his diagnosis, it was something that the duo apparently never discussed, unable too comprehend that it would end that way as they were both determined to fight.
They dubbed themselves "The Positive Parkers", with Kelsey on a mission to do whatever she could for her husband.
"My friend said there was no stone unturned for Tom and I went to the ends of the earth to try and save him," she recalls. "I flew a Spanish doctor over to see him. There was nothing I couldn’t do or wouldn’t have done for him.
"You get that from the book – that I did everything. He was my absolute world, my everything and I wanted him to live in this world with us."
Another passage from the book sees Kelsey mention that she and Tom never discussed his wishes for a funeral, admitting, "I think people were quite shocked by that.
"In our minds there was no funeral. He was always going to survive. He couldn’t go there with those thoughts, so we never went there and that was it. He knew I’d plan it anyway," she adds.
As well as discussing Tom’s determined fight against the disease and ultimately losing him, she also opens up about the emotional tsunami that followed.
"There’s no guidebook to grief. Grief won’t ever leave me; it won’t go away. I’m never going to wake up one day and go, ‘Oh, Tom who?’ I’m learning to live around my grief. It won’t get bigger, it won’t get smaller, it’s just going to remain the same until I die."
Kelsey Parker: With And Without You (published by Mirror Books, RRP £20) is on sale Thursday
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