My sister-in-law is demanding I make our family Christmas dinner dairy free because her son is lactose intolerant – is it selfish if I refuse?
- Woman revealed her relative demanded she make everyone’s dinners dairy free
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A woman has sparked debate after revealing her sister-in-law demanded that she make everyone’s Christmas dinners dairy free this year because her son is lactose intolerant.
Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, she explained that she offered to make him his own dairy free starter, main and desert.
However her sister-in-law said ‘it will be unfair if there is food on the table that he can’t eat’ and she should make everything lactose free.
She claimed her brother was annoyed that she won’t ‘bend to his wife’s demands’ and her parents are upset.
Many rushed to the comments to say that her family are being ‘unreasonable’ with some saying she should ask her sister-in-law to host dinner this year instead.
A woman has sparked debate after revealing her sister-in-law demanded that she make everyone’s Christmas dinners dairy free this year because her son is lactose intolerant (stock image)
She wrote: ‘To not make Christmas dinner dairy free?? Very early I know! I cater Christmas dinner every year for my family.
‘I am single and child free but I host for my parents, brother, sister and their families.
‘My parents stay with me for a few nights. It’s a lot of work.’
‘My nine year old nephew was diagnosed as lactose intolerant this year. So of course I will be researching this and making sure his starter, main and desert is lactose free. I even thought of putting little flags in bowls that are lactose free.
‘I was going to order little flags with a picture of a cow crossed out! Make it fun.
‘My sister-in-law has said it will be unfair if there is food on the table that he can’t eat so the whole meal has to be dairy free.
‘I order Black Forest gateau every year – my parents love it. Apparently no. He never eats it – I get kid friendly desserts for the four children.
‘I am a lazy cook – I get the whole meal from Marks and Spencer! Prepared mash the lot.
‘I am now told I can’t do this as there are milk products in the mashed and roast potatoes.
‘It would be a huge amount of work to do everything from scratch, I don’t want that to be my Christmas Day and my cooking skills aren’t up to it.
‘I have said no – this is what I am doing. My brother is now annoyed that I won’t bend to his wife’s demands and have ruined Christmas.
Taking to British parenting platform Mumsnet, she explained that she offered to make him his own dairy free starter, main and desert
‘I had said he is welcome to come to my house and do the cooking, or host. Or eat at his house then come for coffee and presents.
‘He has told on me! My mother is upset that she won’t have all her family round her at Christmas – dad was ill this year and they have been looking forward to a relaxing Christmas!
‘Agh. It’s only September.
‘Rant over. But honestly give it to me straight am I a selfish child hating spinster! Would you all accommodate this?’
Many suggested that the woman should refuse to host the Christmas meal this year.
One person wrote: ‘You are not at all unreasonable. You’re catering for him, not just expecting him not to eat! If they want everything dairy free then they’re welcome to host.’
Another said: ‘No, I wouldn’t because a) he’s going to have to get used to not being able to eat everything and b) it’s rather rude and demanding of your dear brother and sister in law. Let them cook instead.’
While another said: ‘Not remotely unreasonable. Tell them to cook the bloody dinner this year!!
Many people on the website suggested that the woman should refuse to host the Christmas meal this year
‘I have an allergy, and at Christmas dinner there are things I can’t eat. I’d never expect them to not be served.
‘Especially when someone else is going to the trouble of making a dinner for loads of people.’
Others made the point that the child will have to get used to not being able to eat everything that others can.
One person wrote: ‘You’re not unreasonable at all. Sad as it is, the child will always experience only being able to eat from a limited menu when in restaurants etc., even in supermarkets he won’t be able to pick anything he wants.
‘To go out of your way to ensure there are some dairy free products he can eat, so that he’s still having a three course meal is the maximum I’d expect somebody to go to when catering to my child’s dietary needs.
‘I wouldn’t expect everybody else to have to eat something they might not enjoy as much, and that requires much more effort from the host.’
Others made the point that the child will have to get used to not being able to eat everything that others can
Another agreed saying: ‘Your suggestion of DB cooking or hosting are exactly what I would have done too.
‘Unfortunately your DN will have to learn that he can’t have everything and that the world won’t change to cater for him, he will have to adapt learn and manage his own intolerances.’
While another said: ‘They’re being really precious and unreasonable about it – he has to learn there will be things he can’t eat – what about when he goes to a party and can’t have the ice cream for example? Tell them to have their own lunch at home if they don’t want to come.’
The original poster reiterated: ‘I am of course going to do dairy free potatoes etc for him – his meal will essentially be the same as everyone relates just bespoke. I was proposing everyone else can have butter and cream in their potatoes- his potatoes won’t.
‘This isn’t a question of not catering for him. I absolutely will. I just don’t want to have to make a dairy free meal for seven adults and four children who can eat dairy.’
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