I’m a psychologist – these 8 habits could be harming your relationship
- Dr Lalitaa Suglani, a clinical psychologist in Birmingham, discussed relationships
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A psychologist has revealed eight harmful behaviours that could be hurting your relationships.
Birmingham-based chartered psychologist Dr Lalitaa Suglani, who offers courses on topics including managing anxiety, overcoming fear and imposter syndrome, took to Instagram to share information on the topic in a recent post.
In the post, she outlined eight behaviours that could be having a harmful effect on your relationships.
Accompanying the list of eight behaviours was an extensive caption in which Dr Lalitaa discussed relationships.
In the caption, the psychologist pointed out that ‘no relationship is perfect’ – and that they require ‘effort from both sides’.
People need to work on their relationships to make them ‘great’, according to a psychologist, who has outlined a list of behaviours that can negatively impact partnerships (stock image)
This effort, she continues, ‘looks different for each person based on past experiences and your love language’.
Dr Lalitaa notes that relationships do not just have to be romantic, adding that ‘we can also see relationships such as those with family and friends’.
Dr Lalitaa’s 8 harmful relationship behaviours
1. Being silent about the things that have hurt you.
2. Refusing to let go because you are fearful of what can come next.
3. Avoiding conflict and hoping things ‘just get better’.
4. Expecting people to read your mind and guess how feel.
5. Being ‘too busy’ to make and spend time together.
6. Dishonouring your boundaries to keep the peace’.
7. Trying to get ‘even’ from a place of anger.
8. Excusing unhealthy behaviours because ‘I love them’.
The psychologist writes: ‘Relationships are work in progress.
‘In your relationship as you go through experiences your relationship will go through transitions and will evolve – after-all it takes two to tango.’
She explains that great relationships ‘aren’t great because there are no problems’.
Rather, she explains, they are great because both parties care enough about their partner to make the relationship work.
According to Dr Lalitaa, research indicates that ‘good relationships correlate with health, happiness, and longevity’.
This shows the importance of good relationships – and why it is therefore important to work towards nurturing them.
Her list of eight things that can harm partnerships includes a range of behaviours – from being fearful about properly engaging, to failing to verbalise your own needs.
The first item on the list is being silent about the things that have hurt you.
Next is refusing to let go because you are fearful of what can come next.
The third point raised by the psychologist pertains to conflict – or the avoidance of it.
She says that it can be harmful to relationships when people avoid conflict and hope things will ‘just get better’.
Communication forms the cornerstone of her next point, which says it can negatively impact relationships when people expect others to read their mind and guess how they feel.
The final behaviours on her list are being ‘too busy’ to make and spend time together, dishonouring your boundaries to keep the peace’, trying to get ‘even from a place of anger, and excusing unhealthy behaviours because ‘I love them’.
Dr Lalitaa continues: ‘Remember relationships work two ways. It’s not just about what your partner does for you, but it is also about what you bring to the table.
‘It’s deeply trying to understand each other’s needs and show you care. We tend to feel valued and appreciated when our needs are met intently. It shows we feel cared for and valued.’
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